Attitudes of Gratitude by M. J. Ryan

Author:M. J. Ryan
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781633410725
Publisher: Mango Media

You Are Worthy

You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.

—DESIDERATA

My stepdaughter invited a college friend to our house for a week during winter vacation. I did the usual things hosts do for guests: put out clean sheets and towels, made a bouquet of fresh flowers for the bedside table, found out what she liked and didn't like for meals. At dinner, I made polite conversation, inquiring about her interests, her family, her hopes and dreams. At the end of the week, she left, giving no indication of thanks in either word or deed. No note, no present, no phone call.

Now, I didn't entertain her to be thanked, and I wasn't even upset. Rather, I was fascinated about where such a lack of gratitude came from. In talking to my stepdaughter about it, she revealed that she has a hard time with this friend because the young woman has such a low sense of self-esteem. “I spent half my day reassuring her that she looks OK, that she said the right thing, that she is smart and interesting,” my stepdaughter complained.

Suddenly I got it—this young woman thinks so poorly of herself that it doesn't even register that other people find her worthy of flowers and good dinners. What I did was invisible to her because she is invisible to herself!

To experience gratitude, you have to be aware that you've been given something—whether it's a beautiful head of hair, a trip to Tahiti, or a great new job—because gratitude is the response of the receiver of a gift. It cannot exist if you don't recognize that you have received a gift, and it can't exist if you don't feel worthy of getting the gift. A lack of self-esteem robs you of the joys of gratitude, because you have nowhere to put all that is being given.

By virtue of simply being alive, we receive gifts all the time—if only a new day, a second (or a one-hundredth second) chance—and we are also worthy simply by virtue of being alive. If you have trouble seeing the gifts in your life, perhaps your self-concept needs strengthening.

Take inspiration from Maya Angelou. In an interview with Oprah Winfrey, she was once asked why, despite the hardships she faced, she never doubted herself. Her answer was that she came to realize that God loved her, and from that point on, she no longer had doubts. Because if God loves her, how could she doubt herself?

You are worthy of all that you receive.

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